but now he cries out, and will not be silenced, have mercy upon me Jesus, thou Son of David, and grant that I may receive my sight. His language is much altered; he can now say, was ever such a sinner as I pardoned? Will such a prodigal ever be received? shall such foul offences as mine be forgiven? if God should look upon me, and give me a Christ, and pity me, and cast his skirts over me, while I lye in my blood, if the Lord should look upon me, it would be such a wonder ⟨p. 184⟩that all that ever heard of it may justly admire. Now the man which thought himself the best of Saints, believes himself as bad as the worst of sinners! When a man begins to be acquainted with God, he begins also to know himself; He that saw no need of washing by Christ, would now have hands, feet, head and heart all washed. He that thought himself sometimes far enough from Hell, now begins to admire that he did not fall into it, and although there be a sweet alteration in him for the better, and Saints begin to delight very much in him, yet he wonders that any one should see any thing in him, that should cause any affection in them towards him, much more to inflame their hearts in such vehement love to him; if he hear of any reproaches that are cast upon him, he is ready to say with that wise stoic (Epist.) If he had known me better, he would have spoke much worse of me. If any praise him, he judgeth that it proceeds from their ignorance of his weakness, rather then from any knowledge of his worth; and if he hear any such language, he is ready to tremble for fear of his own heart, and cries out, not unto me, not unto me, but unto his name be the praise: yet not I, but Christ which dwelleth in me. Thus it is with one that begins to have some saving knowledge of God; & the nearer he comes to God, the further he goes from himself; the more he sees of him and his righteousness, the less he sees of his own; the more he is exalted, the more he debateth himself; like those four and twenty Elders, he lays his Crown at the feet of God. Thus it was with Job, when God, as I may so say, stood at a greater distance from him, he is ready to speak a little too highly, he stands much upon ⟨p. 185⟩his own righteousness, he stiffly justifieth himself;
but now he cries out, and will not be silenced, have mercy upon me Jesus, thou Son of David, and grant that I may receive my sight. His language is much altered; he can now say, was ever such a sinner as I pardoned? Will such a prodigal ever be received? shall such foul offences as mine be forgiven? if God should look upon me, and give me a Christ, and pitty me, and cast his skirts over me, while I lye in my blood, if the Lord should look upon me, it would be such a wonder ⟨p. 184⟩that all that ever heard of it may justly admire. Now the man which thought himself the best of Saints, believes himself as bad as the worst of sinners! When a man begins to be acquainted with God, he begins also to know himself; He that saw no need of washing by Christ, would now have hands, feet, head and heart all washt. He that thought himself sometimes far enough from Hell, now begins to admire that he did not fall into it, and although there be a sweet alteration in him for the better, and Saints begin to delight very much in him, yet he wonders that any one should see any thing in him, that should cause any affection in them towards him, much more to inflame their hearts in such vehement love to him; if he hear of any reproaches that are cast upon him, he is ready to say with that wise stoick (Epist.) If he had known me better, he would have spoke much worse of me. If any praise him, he judge•h that it proceeds from their ignorance of his weakness, rather then from any knowledge of his worth; and if he hear any such language, he is ready to tremble for fear of his own heart, and cries out, not unto me, not unto me, but unto his name be the praise: yet not I, but Christ which dwelleth in me. Thus it is with one that begins to have some saving knowledge of God; & the nearer he comes to God, the further he goes from himself; the more he sees of him and his righteousness, the less he sees of his own; the more he is exalted, the more he debateth himself; like those four and twenty Elders, he lays his Crown at the feet of God. Thus it was with Job, when God, as I may so say, stood at a greater distance from him, he is ready to speak a little too highly, he stands much upon ⟨p. 185⟩his own righteousness, he stifly justifieth himself;
