I spent some Time alone in Prayer, from 8 to 3. I was much tired. Oh! that I might wait for Returns, and never more turn to Folly. I can't tell how God should Admit me near Him, considering how I have grieved His Spirit. Having Prayed in the Morning in the Family, I Retired; and first Sought at large unto God for Help to go through the day: especially begging Repentance, and not only so, but Faith; That I might not rest in the bare work; That Satan might get no Advantage after it; That I might have Reason to desire more such days. Then after a little Meditation, and Breathing, I went to Prayer again, only to Confess my Sin before God, and to set my Soul as before the Lord; Labouring to Judge and Loath my self, for all my Sin, from first to last. God helped a little; but Oh! that my Heart was broken in pieces, and Humbled to the Dust. After a little more Meditation, I went to Prayer, in way of Petition, and that at large. Oh! Lord, hear me, and give me the Wisdom that I want. I hope God will hear, pity, pardon, and help me. After a little more Meditation, I fell to Praise & Bless God for my Mercies, by Sea and Land; but was somewhat short in this part, for which I am sorry. At last, I Concluded all, in Praying for the Church of God in general, for ⟨p. 47⟩London, Lancashire, and Limerick; and for New-England also. Here I brought all my Relations to the Lord. Oh, Lord, Accept of me, and my poor Services in Christ. Oh! that I may Watch afterward, and never more be sensual, unbelieving, Proud, nor Hypocritical Lord, say, Amen.
I spent some Time alone in Prayer, from 8 to 3. I was much tired. Oh! that I might wait for Returns, and never more turn to Folly. I can't tell how God should Admit me near Him, considering how I have grieved His Spirit. Having Pray'd in the Morning in the Family, I Retired; and first Sought at large unto God for Help to go through the day: especially begging Repentance, and not only so, but Faith; That I might not rest in the bare work; That Satan might get no Advantage after it; That I might have Reason to desire more such dayes. Then after a little Meditati•n, and Breathing, I went to Prayer again, only to Confess my Sin before God, and to set my Soul as before the Lord; Labouring to Judge and Loath my self, for all my Sin, from first to last. God helped a little; but Oh! that my Heart was broken in pieces, and Humbled to the Dust. After a little more Meditation, I went to Prayer, in way of Petition, and that at large. Oh! Lord, hear me, and give me the Wisdom that I want. I hope God will hear, pitty, pardon, and help me. After a little more Meditation, I fell to Praise & Bless God for my Mercies, by Sea and Land; but was somewhat short in this part, for which I am sorry. At last, I Concluded all, in Praying for the Church of God in general, for ⟨p. 47⟩London, Lancashire, and Limrick; and for New-England also. Here I brought all my Relations to the Lord. Oh, Lord, Accept of me, and my poor Services in Christ. Oh! that I may Watch afterward, and never more be sensual, unbelieving, Proud, nor Hypocriti••l Lord, say, Amen.
