Parentator. Memoirs of remarkables in the life and the death of the ever-memorable Dr.…

and I wrote down those Particular Sins which lay most of all upon my Conscience, and spread them before the Lord in Secret, after the manner of Hezekiah Spreading the Blasphemy of Rabshakeh before the Lord; and I begged of GOD, that he would Pardon them. At this time I thought with myself, that if all the World were mine, I would freely part with it, to have my Hard Heart taken away from me: And I pleaded hard with GOD that Promise, which says, That He will take away the Heart of Stone, and give an Heart of Flesh. But I still thought, my Heart was […] a Stone. Thus my Soul Continued in the New Birth, And very sore were the Pangs of it. Sometimes I was afraid, I was Guilty of the Unpardonable Sin. But upon Discourse with my Father about the Nature of that Sin, I became Satisfied, and found that I had never been Guilty of the Great Transgression. And I thought my Sins were too Great to be Pardoned. But Reading a Book of Mr. Hooker's, Entitled, The Doubting Soul drawn ⟨p. 10⟩to Christ, I was Induced to believe, That my Sins were Capable of a Pardon, and that the Greatness of Sin could not hinder the Mercy of GOD. [Psal. XXV. 11.] I was brought not to doubt of GOD's Ability to Save and Pardon me. But still I did much doubt of His Willingness to do it. And I was foolishly ashamed to Acquaint any Body with my Troubles; I was loth to let any one know, that my Iniquities were gone over my Head, and as an heavy Burden too heavy for me: Till at last, not being Able to hold or bear any longer, the Hand of GOD Pressing me so sor•, I Acquainted my Father with some of my Soul-Distresses, and (Living at Boston) I wrote unto him, how it was with me, & Begged him to Pray for me. I Resolved upon setting apart another Day, to be Spent in Secret Prayer with Fasting before the Lord; and the Lord made it an Happy Day unto me; A Day I shall never forget while I have any Being! On the Day of our Anniversary Election, the Greatest Anniversary Solemnity of the Country, the Scholars which Boarded at Mr. Nortons, being all Abroad on their Diversions, I took this Opportunity of a Private Chamber; and shutting the Door I spent all the Day, in Pouring out my Complaints unto the Lord.

and I wrote down those Particular Sins which lay most of all upon my Conscience, and spread them before the Lord in Secret, after the manner of Hezekiah Spreading the Blasphemy of Rabshakeh before the Lord; and I begged of GOD, that he would Pardon them. At this time I thought with myself, that if all the World were mine, I would freely part with it, to have my Hard Heart taken away from me: And I pleaded hard with GOD that Promise, which says, That He will take away the Heart of Stone, and give an Heart of Flesh. But I still thought, my Heart was a Stone. Thus my Soul Continued in the New Birth, And very sore were the Pangs of it. Sometimes I was afraid, I was Guilty of the Unpardonable Sin. But upon Discourse with my Father about the Nature of that Sin, I became Satisfied, and found that I had never been Guilty of the Great Transgression. And I thought my Sins were too Great to be Pardoned. But Reading a Book of Mr. Hooker's, Entituled, The Doubting Soul drawn