Ecclesia Monilia. The peculiar treasure of the Almighty King opened; and the jewels that…

THE Consideration of the Brevity of Life, the Certainty of Death, and after that of the Judgment, and of Eternity, I upon this thought Solomon's Counsel to be the best that could be given, Eccl. 12.1. Remember thy Creator in the Days of thy Youth, and Health, before the Evil Days of old Age and Death do come. I have too too much cause to fear, that if I should be taken away by Sudden Death (which I pray GOD prevent while I continue in a State of Nature) I should be Eternally separated from the Presence of GOD, which is the sorest Punishment that can be inflicted on any Creature. Sometimes ⟨p. 36⟩when I hear a Sermon, I receive it with Joy, and Purpose Amendment of Life; and when I am in Fear or Danger I Vow and promise to GOD. But when I am delivered I make no Conscience to perform; so that I fear my self to be worse than the Stony Ground; for that kept the Seed of the Word, till Persecution arose; but I forsake it for such and such a sinful Vanity, and hazard Eternal Damnation rather than leave my Sensualities, (for which Sins the Lord humble me!) And so, when I come to GOD's House my mind is not so much on the Word Preached as it should be. I take not that delight in Reading the Scripture, nor make that Conscience of doing it daily as I ought to do, or should do, were I a Child of GOD. I am too negligent in that Duty of Private Prayer; and when I do go to GOD in secret, it is but in a Cold, Formal Manner. I am also too much addicted to Vain Thoughts and Words. But notwithstanding all this, in Reading the Scriptures, I find some Gracious Invitations to Sinners, Matth. 11.28. Come unto me all ye that labour, and I will give you Rest. Isaiah 55.1. Ho every one that Thirsteth, come, buy Wine and Milk without Money and without Price. But I thought, these Promises did not belong to me; for though I had a great weight of Sin, yet I was not weary thereof, I was without Sense of it; I thirsted not after an Interest in Christ. But then I ⟨p. 37⟩thought there were Promises and Invitations against which I could bring no Objection; as Matth. 7.7