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As they are gradually more and more convinced of the Corruption and Wickedness of their Hearts, they seem to themselves to grow worse and worse, harder and blinder, and more desperately wicked, instead of growing better; they are ready to be discouraged by ⟨p. 24⟩it, and oftentimes never think themselves so far off from Good as when they are nearest. Under the sense which the Spirit o• God gives them of their Sinfulness, they often think that they differ from all others; their Hearts are ready to sink with the thought, that they are the worst of all, and that none ever obtained Mercy that were so wicked as they.

When Awakenings first begin, their Consciences are commonly most exercised about their outward vicious Course, or other Acts of Sin; but afterwards are much more burdened with a sense of Heart sins, the dreadful Corruption of their Nature, their Enmity against God, the Pride of their Hearts, their Unbelief, their Rejection of Christ, the Stubbornness and Obstinacy of their Wills; and the like. In many, God makes much use of their own Experience, in the course of their Awakenings and Endeavours after saving Good, to convince them of their own vile Emptiness and universal Depravity.

Very often under first Awakenings, when they are brought to reflect on the Sin of their past Lives, and have something of a terrifying sense of God's Anger, they set themselves to walk more strictly, and confess their Sins, and perform many religious Duties, with a secret Hope of appeasing God's Anger and making up for the Sins they have committed▪ and oftentimes, at first setting out, their Affections are moved, and they are full of Tears, in their Confessions and Prayers, which they are ready to make very much of, as tho' they were some Atonement, and had Power to move correspondent Affections in God too: and hence they are for a while big with Expectation of what God will do for them; and conceive that they grow better apace, and shall soon be thoroughly converted. But these Affections are but short-lived, they quickly find that they fail, and then they think themselves to be grown worse again; they don't find such a Prospect of being soon converted, as they thought: instead of being nearer, they seem to be farther off; their Hearts they think are grown harder, and by this means their fears of perishing greatly increase. But tho' they are disappointed, they