N04855:608
Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that…
Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that we may comfortably walk with God in our general and particular callings: &c. In a letter to a pious friend in England. / By Thomas Shepard, M.A. Formerly of Emmanuel-College in Cambridge in England: afterward Minister of Cambridge in New-England. ; Corrected by four several editions.
Boston: printed by Rogers and Fowle, 1747
MEDITATIONS AND Spiritual Experiences OF Mr. THOMAS SHEPARD.
Modern spelling is a reading aid: the words are the author’s, only the spelling is modernized. Original shows the page as printed, with the transcription marks.
May 5. I saw I was without all Sense, as well as Sight of God, estranged from the Life of God: For I saw I respected Man more than God, to please him rather than God. And why so? Because I was sensible of the Presence of Man. So if I had committed any Sin against Man, I should be ashamed; but I blush not before God. I was not sensible of his Glory, Majesty, Beauty and Love. And hence I had no Sense of Sin, because I had no Sense of God. —And hence with Sadness I saw my Widow-like Separation and Disunion from my Husband and my God, and that we two were now parted, who had been nearer together once. And I saw, (though not deeply) what my Iniquities are, to prefer the Creature above the Creator blessed for ever? And as the Life is, the Sense is.
May 5. I saw I was without all Sense, as well as Sight of God, estranged from the Life of God: For I saw I respected Man more than God, to please him rather than God. And why so? Because I was sensible of the Presence of Man. So if I had committed any Sin against Man, I should be ashamed; but I blush not before God. I was not sensible of his Glory, Majesty, Beauty and Love. And hence I had no Sense of Sin, because I had no Sense of God. —And hence with Sadness I saw my Widow-like Separation and Disunion from my Husband and my God, and that we two were now parted, who had been nearer together once. And I saw, (though not deeply) what my Iniquities are, to preferr the Creature above the Creator blessed for ever? And as the Life is, the Sense is.
May 6. The Lord Jesus revealed himself thus to me viz. That as he was Mercy and Love to all meek, humbled believing Sinners that came to him; so he was Fire and Wrath against all obstinate Sinners, that would not bow to him: but go on in their Sin. And so I satisfied that Doubt; when my Heart said, Why shall I be ⟨p. 21⟩troubled for Sin, seeing God in Christ takes it not much to Heart, but forgives, bears, pardons and he was all Love and no Wrath in him? I replied again, He is so to all meek ones, that stop, stoop and yield: But he takes the least Sin exceedingly to Heart and very ill, when Men will go on in it. My Heart was much comforted with the Knowledge of this, and wrought to some more Fear and Love to him, and resolved to give up my self to Him.—I saw also the Greatness of Sin, to strike him by it, who is the Glory, of Heaven and Earth, and who takes it exceeding ill at my Hands, if I do, or especially persist in it. The Lord also pressed my Spirit to please Christ in every Thing; not in some Things only, but to be ever pleasing him—I saw also, that I was not in good earnest desirous that Christ would take away Sin by the Loss of Name or Goods, &c.