N04855:617
Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that…
Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that we may comfortably walk with God in our general and particular callings: &c. In a letter to a pious friend in England. / By Thomas Shepard, M.A. Formerly of Emmanuel-College in Cambridge in England: afterward Minister of Cambridge in New-England. ; Corrected by four several editions.
Boston: printed by Rogers and Fowle, 1747
MEDITATIONS AND Spiritual Experiences OF Mr. THOMAS SHEPARD.
Modern spelling is a reading aid: the words are the author’s, only the spelling is modernized. Original shows the page as printed, with the transcription marks.
I saw also that God was beforehand with Men. (1) In that he had reconciled the World to himself. (2) That he did beseech them to be reconciled. Now I saw that all the Work did lie upon Man. For if the Party offended first seek to be Friends, I need not call in Question his Willingness, but my own wicked Maliciousness. Here I saw, that if it be so with Man, and he do not come in to him that seeks for Favour, 'tis either (1) from Contempt; or (2) Anger, quarrelling at his Dealing; or (3) Malice, yet the Lord wraps up all in one Word, Enmity.
May 21. In Prayer I desired two Things (1) That God only might be sweet, (2) That his Will might be mine. At which Time it came into my Heart, If you sincerely desire these two, you will desire to be in Heaven, where these two are fully perfected. For I saw though Death was naturally terrible, yet I secretly rejoiced to think of that infinite Mercy, when God alone shall fill my Soul with his immediate Infiniteness.
On the Sabbath, May 23. I came to a serious ⟨p. 24⟩Consideration, what Sins were between God, and me, that eclipsed his Love? and I saw my Evils, and resolved with more Care to walk with him, and to be humbled for Evils past. And found my Heart in looking on those Duties I was to do, to be afraid, lest I should fail in the Performance of them. And so I saw, if I laid the Evidence of my Salvation on my Works, it would be various and uncertain as my gracious Works were: And yet on the other Side; I saw that if I did not walk holily in all Things before God, I should not,—I could not have Assurance of my good Estate. So that here I was at some Stand. And in Musing, thus the twenty-fifth Psalm came to Mind, wherein God promiseth the meek and humble to show them his Covenant. And so I saw the Lord at that Time revealing his Covenant unto me; on which I was to build my Assurance, not on my Performance of that Covenant by my own Strength and Graces. Now God's Covenant I saw thus;