Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that…

Octob. 16. The Day before the Sacrament, the Lord helped me to call to mind (1) my Neglects, (2) My Wants. [1] My Neglects; (1) Of Duties in private toward my self (2) To my Wife, Child, Family, Church, Companions abroad; not instructing, exhorting, quickening, being an Example to them. And the Lord let me see the Cause of all this to be (1) Ignorance; I know not how to speak to them, nor about what. (2) Unsavouriness; not delighting in, but loathing such Ways. (3) Pride; Because I could not do so well as I would, I would not speak what I could. (4) Lukewarmness; in ⟨p. 53⟩not being carried out for God's Glory. (5) Idleness and Sluggishness, loth to stir. (6) Love of Study. (7) Want of tender Love. (8) Apprehension of Unfruitfulness; in Case I should attempt, I should do no Good, and hence would not sow Seed upon Rocks. And I thought, If this latter should hinder me, why should it not discourage the Lord himself, who had so oft cast his precious Seed upon my Rocks, and lost all? And here I saw, I was ignorant when to speak and how to do, and how much; Yet I saw this, that suppose I had done right, yet that these Principles causing this Neglect were to be lamented, and not indulged, for which End I came to the Lord in the Sacrament. For I saw that good Duties might be done, and sometimes lawfully omitted, and yet both out of ill Principles. And when the ill Principles are healed, I shall then see whether it is my Duty, and how far my Duty reacheth. And this I saw was a Rule of singular Use to know when the Thing was evil, which I think is right and good. I say it is lawful; Be it so; but see if this lawful Thing comes not from an ill Principle. Cure that, and then other Things will follow. So a Man strives for upper Place, and who shall be the greatest: A Man thinks Usury is lawful: Now, say I, mind the Principle whence these come.

Octob. 16. The Day before the Sacrament, the Lord helped me to call to mind (1) my Neglects, (2) My Wants. [1] My Neglects; (1) Of Duties in private toward my self (2) To my Wife, Child, Family, Church, Companions abroad; not instructing, exhorting, quickning, being an Example to them. And the Lord let me see the Cause of all this to be (1) Ignorance; I know not how to speak to them, nor about what. (2) Unsavoriness; not delighting in, but loathing such Ways. (3) Pride; Because I could not do so well as I would, I would not speak what I could. (4) Lukewarmness; in ⟨p. 53⟩