Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that…

[2] I saw my Wants. (1) I did want Knowledge of the Truth and Glory of God's Will in the Scriptures (2) Wisdom to guide others (3) Daily Repentance: The Want of which made the Lord not to pity me, nor to come to me. (4) I was exercised with Horrors and Fears, being in the Dark, and the Lord hiding his Face. (5) Want of a Spirit of Prayer distressed me; having Words without Affection, which I saw the Perfection of all Misery.—(6) Want of Zeal for God's Glory; but affecting mine own Glory and mine own Excellency, nay the Excellencies of God for that End. (7) Want of Joy in the Lord and in his ⟨p. 54⟩Will; but going a whoring after lawful Things. (8) Want of Love in great Measure to others.

[2] I saw my Wants. (1) I did want Knowledge of the Truth and Glory of God's Will in the Scriptures (2) Wisdom to guide others (3) Daily Repentance: The Want of which made the Lord not to pity me, nor to come to me. (4) I was exercised with Horrors and Fears, being in the Dark, and the Lord hiding his Face. (5) Want of a Spirit of Prayer distress'd me; having Words without Affection, which I saw the Perfection of all Misery.—(6) Want of Zeal for God's Glory; but affecting mine own Glory and mine own Excellency, nay the Excellencies of God for that End. (7) Want of Joy in the Lord and in his ⟨p. 54⟩Will; but going a whoring after lawful Things. (8) Want of Love in great Measure to others.

I meditated this Night upon CHRIST, and saw (1) That there was a necessity of a Mediator in Regard of God's Truth and Holiness. (2) That this was the Messiah by the Witnesses given of him. (3) I saw not that he was mine, because I saw no Promise absolute of it. But the Lord graciously cleared up to me John 1.12. That they who receive Christ were Sons. (Christ himself, though they had no Promise.) Now to receive Christ I saw was contrary to them that did not own him when he came to his own. (1) They did not acknowledge, This is he. (2) They did not see any Glory in him. (3) They did not embrace him with all their Hearts to be that to them for which End he came; viz. To be King, Prophet and Priest. So I saw what it was to receive him. And upon a fresh Persuasion that this Messiah is he, the Lord gave me to embrace me him with my Affections, as if present; viz. To guide me as a Prophet, to rule me as a King, to take away Sin and Death as a Priest.—Now here I saw two Things, [1] That true Faith was not to guide one's Self, rule and conquer Sin, and obey one's Self; (for this is to make our selves our own Saviours;) But to cleave to Christ that will do all this, nay that he would draw out our Faith of embracing him for this. And hence I saw Neglect of Duty as vile a Sin as actual Sin; because Christ is not so much offended with us for actual Sin, as for not coming to him and clasping about him to take these away. The one, viz. to do the thing is his Work; but to cleave to him is our chief Work.—And I was confirmed, that this is the right Act of Faith; (1) Because Faith is a bare Receiver; (2) From