N04855:735
Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that…
Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that we may comfortably walk with God in our general and particular callings: &c. In a letter to a pious friend in England. / By Thomas Shepard, M.A. Formerly of Emmanuel-College in Cambridge in England: afterward Minister of Cambridge in New-England. ; Corrected by four several editions.
Boston: printed by Rogers and Fowle, 1747
MEDITATIONS AND Spiritual Experiences OF Mr. THOMAS SHEPARD.
Modern spelling is a reading aid: the words are the author’s, only the spelling is modernized. Original shows the page as printed, with the transcription marks.
Nov. 16. I felt my Heart very unsavoury, and I saw my Soul nothing but Sin and Sorrow, Death and Darkness, and in a Manner, as good as in Hell. And so I saw then, that nothing but free Grace could help me out; and there I did hang, and did prize this Grace therefore. But I did question, It may refuse to help because 'tis free. But I saw it is the Pleasure of God's Grace to help all that prayed for it and came for it to Grace. And I saw herein was Part of God's good Pleasure, to hear every Prayer, and I should look upon no other Secrets but this revealed Will of Christ: And so I purposed ever to lie here. And I saw, Dependence upon Grace for all, ever supposeth a deep Abasement of Soul under a Sense of Unworthiness.
Nov. 16. I felt my Heart very unsavoury, and I saw my Soul nothing but Sin and Sorrow, Death and Darkness, and in a Manner, as good as in Hell. And so I saw then, that nothing but free Grace could help me out; and there I did hang, and did prize this Grace therefore. But I did question, It may resuse to help because 'tis free. But I saw it is the Pleasure of God's Grace to help all that pray'd for it and came for it to Grace. And I saw herein was Part of God's good Pleasure, to hear every Prayer, and I should look upon no other Secrets but this revealed Will of Christ: And so I purposed ever to lie here. And I saw, Dependance upon Grace for all, ever supposeth a deep Abasement of Soul under a Sense of Unworthiness.
Novemb. 18. As I was going down my Stairs, I thought, If Paul did so desire the Good of the Israelites, ⟨p. 65⟩his Country Men, his Enemies, that opposed him, that he could wish himself Anathema for them; much more should I earnestly desire the Good of their Souls, who had under God committed themselves to my Care and Charge. And so I left them to God's free Grace to provide for them. And at Night I had Doubts, whether the Lord would regard them, or no, though I did resign them up to him. But it came to my Mind, that if God was an Idol God, then I might give them to him in vain; but it was not so. And hence I had very sweet Persuasion that Night, that my Work herein was not despised of the Lord.