Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that…

Novemb. 21. On Sabbath Day after Preaching, I considered my Vileness, that I did not see Things by the Lord's Light, nor was persuaded by the Lord's Faith, not quickened nor strengthened by the Lord's Life and Strength. So I demanded a Reason, why the Lord Jesus did not only, not outwardly help, but not inwardly act? I saw the Lord was not in me, hence did not work in me. I asked then, Why he was not in me? I saw my Sin had separated him from me: Yet I saw no Sin could separate if Unbelief was not added. If I returned by Faith, he would return to me. Then being ready to come, and yet seeing God's Grace only could draw me; I demanded, Whether I should put this Honour on God's Grace to draw me, or take it to my self, in coming by my own Strength? So I left my Soul with God's free Grace. Yet I saw that though Christ did not act in me in the same Measure as in Paul, who said Christ did live in him: yet I saw he did act in some Measure, though little: (1) Because I did desire the Lord to act all (2) Because I mourned for want of this, and loathed my self for what I did: (3) Because I did rejoice if the Lord would act me. And the next Morning I saw the Truth of this in Paul's Example, 2 Cor. 12. by the Thorn in the Flesh, to whom the Lord said, My Grace, in pardoning, ⟨p. 66⟩accepting, is sufficient for thee, without thy Enlargements and holy Affections.

Novemb. 21. On Sabbath Day after Preaching, I considered my Vileness, that I did not see Things by the Lord's Light, nor was perswaded by the Lord's Faith, not quickned nor strengthened by the Lord's Life and Strength. So I demanded a Reason, why the Lord Jesus did not only, not outwardly help, but not inwardly act? I saw the Lord was not in me, hence did not work in me. I asked then, Why he was not in me? I saw my Sin had separated him from me: Yet I saw no Sin could separate if Unbelief was not added. If I returned by Faith, he would return to me. Then being ready to come, and yet seeing God's Grace only could draw me; I demanded, Whether I should put this Honour on God's Grace to draw me, or take it to my self, in coming by my own Strength? So I left my Soul with God's free Grace. Yet I saw that though Christ did not act in me in the same Measure as in Paul, who said Christ did live in him: yet I saw he did act in some Measure, though little: (1) Because I did desire the Lord to act all (2) Because I mourned for want of this, and loathed my self for what I did: (3) Because I did rejoice if the Lord would act me. And the next Morning I saw the Truth of this in Paul's Example,