Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that…

I also saw a vast Difference between knowing Things by Reason and Discourse, and by Faith, or the Spirit of Faith. For by Discourse, (1) I saw that a Thing was so. A Man's Discourse about spiritual Things is like a Philosopher's Discourse about the inward Forms of Things, which they see not, yet see that they be; but by the Light of the Spirit of Faith I see the Thing presented, as it is. I have seen a God by Reason, and never been amazed at God thus apprehended; But I have seen God himself, and been ravished to behold him. And here I saw, what the Meaning of Christ's Speech is John. 14. The World knows not the Spirit, and hence cannot receive him; viz. That 'tis such a Spirit, as gives such Glimpses of God's Glory, and of Christ, as though it departs, yet they know it so good, as that they long for it again, because they know it. And here I saw the Meaning of that in Job, There is a Spirit in Man, that is, Reason; but the Inspiration of the Almighty gives Understanding, that is, this Spirit of Faith.

Decemb. 9. On Thursday Morning in my Bed, after my Wednesday's Sermon, (1) I saw the Pride of my Heart acting thus; That when I had done public Work, my Heart would presently look out and enquire wherein I had done well or ill. And I saw, I rejoiced in that as well done, which pleased Man; and that as done amiss, which might not be so glorious in the Eyes of Man. Hereupon I saw my Vileness, to make Men's Opinions my Rule; but then I saw my Rule to be this, viz. To see what good I had done, and give the Lord the Glory; and to consider, what Sin I had committed, and to mourn for that. (2) Here I saw a Deceit; viz. To preach and pray, to stir up spiritual Affections, because I saw it did beget Commendations; hence preached Terror and Comfort (though false) to beget Affection. I saw also, upon Enlargements, I ⟨p. 69⟩was apt to be somewhat in mine own Eyes, whereas my Rule is, to be more vile than any Man in my own Eyes, and that daily.

Decemb. 9. On Thursday Morning in my Bed, after my Wednesday's Sermon, (1) I saw the Pride of my Heart acting thus; That when I had done publick Work, my Heart would presently look out and enquire wherein I had done well or ill. And I saw, I rejoiced in that as well done, which pleased Man; and that as done amiss, which might not be so glorious in the Eyes of Man. Hereupon I saw my Vileness, to make Men's Opinions my Rule; but then I saw my Rule to be this, viz. To see what good I had done, and give the Lord the Glory; and to consider, what Sin I had committed, and to mourn for that. (2) Here I saw a Deceipt; viz. To preach and pray, to stir up spiritual Affections, because I saw it did beget Commendations; hence preach'd Terror and Comfort (though false) to beget Affection. I saw also, upon Enlargements, I