The Work of these Papers have been to my mind somewhat like those sad Employments wherein I attended you: of themselves, grievous and ungrateful; exasperating others, and not pleasing my self (besides the ruinating of my bodily health) And as the Remembrance of those years is so little delightful to me, that I look back upon them as the saddest part of my life; so the Review of this Apology, is but the renewing of my trouble: to think of our Common frailty and darkness, and what Reverend and much valued Brethren I contradict; but especially for fear lest men should make this Collision an occasion of Division, and by receiving the sparks into Combustible Affections, should turn that to a Conflagration which I intended but for Illumination. If you say, I should then have let it alone: The same answer must serve, as in the former Cause we were wont to use. Some say, that I who pretend so much for Peace, should not write of Controversies. For my self it is not much Matter: but must Gods Truth (for such I take it) stand as a Butt for every man to shoot at? Must there be such Liberty of opposing it, and none of Defending? One party cannot have Peace without the others Consent. To be Buffeted and Assaulted, and Commanded to Deliver up the Truth of God, and called Unpeaceable if I defend it and resist, this is such Equity ⟨image 4⟩as we were wont to find. In a word, both works were ungrateful to me, and are so in the Review; but in both, as Providence and mens onset imposed a Necessity, and drove me to that strait, that I must Defend or do worse; so did the same Providence so clear my way, and draw me on, and sweeten unusual Troubles with unusual Mercies, and Issue all in Testimonies of Grace, that as I had great mixtures of Comfort with Sorrow in the Performance, so have I in the Review: And as I had more eminent Deliverances and other Mercies in those years and ways of Blood and Dolour, then in most of my Life beside; so have I had more encouraging Light since I was engaged in these Controversies. (For I speak not of these few Papers only, but of many more of the like Nature that have taken up my time.) And as I still retained a Hope, that the End of all our Calamities and strange Disposings of Providence, would be somewhat Better then was Threatened of late: so Experience hath taught me to think, that the Issue of my most ungrateful Labours shall not be vain;
The Work of these Papers have been to my minde somewhat like those sad Employments wherein I attended you: of themselves, grievous and ungratefull; exasperating others, and not pleasing my self (besides the ruinating of my bodily health) And as the Remembrance of those years is so little delightfull to me, that I look back upon them as the saddest part of my life; so the Review of this Apologie, is but the renewing of my trouble: to think of our Common frailty and darkness, and what Reverend and much valued Brethren I contradict; but especially for fear lest men should make this Collision an occasion of Division, and by receiving the sparks into Combustible Affections, should turn that to a Conflagration which I intended but for Illumination. If you say, I should then have let it alone: The same answer must serve, as in the former Cause we were wont to use. Some say, that I who pretend so much for Peace, should not write of Controversies. For my self it is not much Matter: but must Gods Truth (for such I take it) stand as a Butt for every man to shoot at? Must there be such Liberty of opposing it, and none of Defending? One party cannot have Peace without the others Consent. To be Buffeted and Assaulted, and Commanded to Deliver up the Truth of God, and called Ʋnpeaceable if I defend it and resist, this is such Equity ⟨image 4⟩as we were wont to finde. In a word, both works were ungratefull to me, and are so in the Review; but in both, as Providence and mens onset imposed a Necessity, and drove me to that strait, that I must Defend or do worse; so did the same Providence so clear my way, and draw me on, and sweeten unusual Troubles with unusual Mercies, and Issue all in Testimonies of Grace, that as I had great mixtures of Comfort with Sorrow in the Performance, so have I in the Review: And as I had more eminent Deliverances and other Mercies in those years and wayes of Bloud and Dolour, then in most of my Life beside; so have I had more encouraging Light since I was engaged in these Controversies. (For I speak not of these few Papers onely, but of many more of the like Nature that have taken up my time.) And as I still retain'd a Hope, that the End of all our Calamities and strange Disposings of Providence, would be somewhat Better then was Threatned of late: so Experience hath taught me to think, that the Issue of my most ungratefull Labours shall not be vain;
