Reliquiæ Baxterianæ, or, Mr. Richard Baxters narrative of the most memorable passages of his…

After that old Mr. Francis Garbett (the faithful, learned Minister at Wroxeter) for about a Month read Logic to me, and provoked me to a closer Course of Study; which yet was greatly interrupted by my bodily weakness, and the troubled Condition of my Soul. For being in expectation of Death, by a violent Cough, with Spitting of Blood, &c. of two years continuance, supposed to be a deep degree of a Consumption, I was yet more awakened to be serious, and solicitous about my Soul's everlasting State: And I came so short of that sense and seriousness, which a Matter of such infinite weight required, that I was in many years doubt of my Sincerity, and thought I had no Spiritual Life at all. I wondered at the senseless hardness of my heart, that could think and talk of Sin and Hell, and Christ and Grace, of God and Heaven, with no more feeling: I cried out from day to day to God for Grace against this senseless Deadness: I called my self the most hard hearted Sinner, that could feel nothing of all that I knew and talked of: I was not then sensible of the incomparable Excellency of Holy Love, and Delight in God, nor much employed in Thanksgiving and Praise: But all my Groans were for more Contrition, and a broken Heart, and I prayed most for Tears and Tenderness.

After that old Mr. Francis Garbett (the faithful, learned Minister at Wroxeter) for about a Month read Logick to me, and provoked me to a closer Course of Study; which yet was greatly interrupted by my bodily weakness, and the troubled Condition of my Soul. For being in expectation of Death, by a violent Cough, with Spitting of Blood, &c. of two years continuance, supposed to be a deep degree of a Consumption, I was yet more awakened to be serious, and solicitous about my Soul's everlasting State: And I came so short of that sense and seriousness, which a Matter of such infinite weight required, that I was in many years doubt of my Sincerity, and thought I had no Spiritual Life at all. I wondred at the sensless hardness of my heart, that could think and talk of Sin and Hell, and Christ and Grace, of God and Heaven, with no more feeling: I cried out from day to day to God for Grace against this sensless Deadness: I called my self the most hard hearted Sinner, that could feel nothing of all that I knew and talkt of: I was not then sensible of the incomparable Excellency of Holy Love, and Delight in God, nor much imployed in Thanksgiving and Praise: But all my Groans were for more Contrition, and a broken Heart, and I prayed most for Tears and Tenderness.