Reliquiæ Baxterianæ, or, Mr. Richard Baxters narrative of the most memorable passages of his…

3. My next Doubt was, left Education and Fear had done all that ever was done upon my Soul, and Regeneration and Love were yet to seek; because I had found Convictions from my Childhood, and found more Fear than Love in all my Duties and Restraints.

But I afterward perceived that Education is God's ordinary way for the Conveyance of his Grace, and ought no more to be set in opposition to the Spirit, than the preaching of the Word; and that it was the great Mercy of God to begin with me so soon, and to prevent such sins as else might have been my shame and sorrow while I lived; and that Repentance is good, but Prevention and Innocence is better; which though we cannot attain in perfection, yet the more the better. And I understood, that though Fear without Love be not a state of Saving Grace, and greater Love to the World than to God be not consistent with Sincerity; yet a little predominant Love (prevailing against worldly Love) conjunct with a far greater measure of Fear, may be a state of Special Grace! And that Fear being an easier and irresistible Passion, doth oft obscure that measure of Love which is indeed within us! And that the Soul of a Believer groweth up by degrees, from the more troublesome (but safe) Operations of Fear, to the more high and excellent Operations of Complacential Love; even as it hath more of the sense of the Love of God in Christ, and belief of the Heavenly Life which it approacheth: And that it is long before Love be sensibly predominant in respect of Fear (that is, of Self-love and Self-preservation), though at the first it is predominant against Worldly Love. And I found that my hearty Love of the Word of God, and of the Servants of God, and my desires to be more holy, and especially the hatred of my Heart for loving God no more, and my Love to love him, and be pleasing to him, was not without some Love to himself, though it worked more sensibly on his nearer Image.

But I afterward perceived that Education is God's ordinary way for the Conveyance of his Grace, and ought no more to be set in opposition to the Spirit, than the preaching of the Word; and that it was the great Mercy of God to begin with me so soon, and to prevent such sins as else might have been my shame and sorrow while I lived; and that Repentance is good, but Prevention and Innocence is better; which though we cannot attain in perfection, yet the more the better. And I understood, that though Fear without Love be not a state of Saving Grace, and greater Love to the World than to God be not consistent with Sincerity; yet a little predominant Love (prevailing against worldly Love) conjunct with a far greater measure of Fear, may be a state of Special Grace! And that Fear being an easier and irresistible Passion, doth oft obscure that measure of Love which is indeed within us! And that the Soul of a Believer groweth up by degrees, from the more troublesome (but safe) Operations of Fear, to the more high and excellent Operations of Complacential Love; even as it hath more of the sense of the Love of God in Christ, and belief of the Heavenly Life which it approacheth: And that it is long before Love be sensibly predominant in respect of Fear (that is, of Self-love and Self-preservation), though at the first it is predominant against Worldly Love. And I found that my hearty Love of the Word of God, and of the Servants of God, and my desires to be more holy, and especially the hatred of my Heart for loving God no more, and my Love to love him, and be pleasing to him, was not without some Love to himself, though it workt more sensibly on his nearer Image.