Penit. Still my soul admireth to see the great use is to be made of the word of God, which doth engage my soul more and more, to a more frequent use of the Scriptures. Lord Jesus help me to perform it.
My fore-mentioned griefs about my outward condition, are but the Porch of those troubles that Jodge in my distressed soul. When I look down into the dungeon of my heart, and the dunghill of my life, I am filled with an abhorrence of my self, and wonderment at Gods patience, to suffer such a wretch as I am to live. I know much of the sins of others, but I know more by my self, then I know by any body else, considering circumstantial aggravations. I can truly say with Paul, 1 Tim. 1.15. sinners, of whom • am chief. If my Companions have mis-led me, or my leaders have ca•sed me to err, it may aggravate their sin, but be no excuse or apology for mine; I have done as evil as I could, and had not God hampered me with outward affliction and trouble, it is not to be said by man how vile I •hould have been. It is sometimes a quieting argument to my heart, to be patient under •y outward crosses, because they be Mustard on the Worlds Nipples, to keep me from surfeiting upon the Creature. If I look into the glass of Gods Law, and behold the face of my life, and of my soul, as they are there represented, I am afraid of my self, I abhor my self, I am confounded. Gods Sabbaths I have profaned; Gods Word I have neglected; Gods Grace I have despised and resisted; I have broken the whole Law of God, every Command have I violated: for there be some acts of sin that I never did actually commit, yet the habit of sin is in me, and in inclination and desire I am guilty of it: and for a foundation of this mountainous heap of guilt, I am guilty of Adams fall, the first, the worst, the root of all the sins of the sons of men. My sinful habit and disposition by nature, doth viciously incline me to sin, against my desires, purposes, promises, and resolutions. When I strive and labour, and cry and pray against my sins, yet upon the opportunity and occasion offered, my sin will return; I am weak, that is strong; I am subdued, and that prevaileth. Oh wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me?
Penit. Still my soul admireth to see the great use is to be made of the word of God, which doth engage my soul more and more, to a more frequent use of the Scriptures. Lord Jesus help me to perform it.
My fore-mentioned griefs about my outward condition, are but the Porch of those troubles that Iodge in my distressed soul. When I look down into the dungeon of my heart, and the dunghill of my life, I am filled with an abhorrence of my self, and wonderment at Gods patience, to suffer such a wretch as I am to live. I know much of the sins of others, but I know more by my self, then I know by any body else, considering circumstantial aggravations. I can truly say with Paul, 1 Tim. 1.15. sinners, of whom • am chief. If my Companions have mis-led me, or my leaders have ca•sed me to erre, it may aggravate their sin, but be no excuse or apologie for mine; I have done as evil as I could, and had not God hampered me with outward affliction and trouble, it is not to be said by man how vile I •hould have been. It is sometimes a quieting argument to my heart, to be patient under •y outward crosses, because they be Mustard on the Worlds Nipples, to keep me from surfetting upon the Creature. If I look into the glass of Gods Law, and behold the face of my life, and of my soul, as they are there represented, I am afraid of my self, I abhorre my self, I am confounded. Gods Sabbaths I have profaned; Gods Word I have neglected; Gods Grace I have despised and resisted; I have broken the whole Law of God, every Command have I violated: for there be some acts of sin that I never did actually commit, yet the habit of sin is in me, and in inclination and desire I am guilty of it: and for a foundation of this mountainous heap of guilt, I am guilty of Adams fall, the first, the worst, the root of all the sins of the sons of men. My sinful habit and disposition by nature, doth viciously incline me to sin, against my desires, purposes, promises, and resolutions. When I strive and labour, and cry and pray against my sins, yet upon the opportunity and occasion offered, my sin will return; I am weak, that is strong; I am subdued, and that prevaileth. Oh wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me?
