A57970:237
Joshua Redivivus, or Mr. Rutherford's Letters
Joshua redivivus, or, Mr. Rutherford's letters divided into two parts, the first, containing these which were written from Aberdeen, where he was confined by a sentence of the high commission ... partly on account of his non-conformance : the second, containing some which were written from Anwoth ... / now published for the use of all the people of God ... by a well-wisher to the work & people of God.Joshua redivivus, or, Mr. Rutherfoord's letters divided into two parts, the first, containing these which were written from Aberdeen, where he was confined by a sentence of the high commission ... partly on account of his non-conformance : the second, containing some which were written from Anwoth ... / now published for the use of all the people of God ... by a wellwisher to the work & people of God.
Rotterdam? : s.n., 1664
Modern spelling is a reading aid: the words are the author’s, only the spelling is modernized. Original shows the page as printed, with the transcription marks.
To CARLETOUN. (34)
Worthy & much honoured.
Grace, mercy & peace be to you: I received your letter from my Brother, to the which I now answer particularly. I confess two things of my self. 1. Woe, woe is me, that men should think there is any thing in me: He is my witness before whom I am as crystal, that the secret house-devils that bear me too oft company, & that this sink of corruption which I find within, maketh me go with low sails: & if other• saw what I see, they would look by me, but not to me. 2. I know this shower of his free grace behooved to be on me, otherwayes I would have withered. I know also, I have need of a buffeting tempter that grace may be put to exercise & I kept low. Worthy & dear Brother in our Lord Jesus, I write that from my heart which ye now read. 1. I avouch that Christ, & sweating, & sighing under his cross, is sweeter to me by far, then all the Kingdoms in the world could possibly be. 2. If you & my dearest acquaintance in Christ, reap any fruit by my suffering; let me be weighed in God's even balance, if my joy be not fulfilled: What am I to carry the marks of such a great King? But howbeit I am a sink & sinful mass, a wretched captive of sin, my Lord Jesus can hew heaven out of worse timber then I am (if worse can be.) 3. I now rejoice with joy unspeakable & glorious, that I never purposed ⟨p. 77⟩posed to bring Christ no• the least hoof or hair-breadth of truth under […]: I desired to have & keep Christ all alone, & that he should never rub clothes with that black-skinned harlot of Rome. I am now fully payed home, so that nothing aileth me for the present, but love-sickness for a all possession of my fair t well beloved. I would give him my bond under my faith & hand, to first heaven an hundred years longer, so being he would lay his holy face to my sometimes wet cheeks. Oh, who would not pity me, to know how fain I would have the King shaking the tree of life upon me, or letting me in to the well of life with my old dish, that I might be drunken with the fountain, here, in the house of my pilgrimage! I cannot, nay I would not, be quite of Christs love: H hath left the mark behind him where he gripped: He goeth away & leaveth me & his burning love to wrestle together, & I can scarce win my meat of his love because of absence: My Lord giveth me but hungry half-kisses, which serve to feed pain & increase hunger, but do not satisfy my desires: